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URGENT CHRISTMAS STOCKING-FILLER NEWS FROM OTTO FISHBLANKET!

Hello!
Otto Fishblanket here, famous author and dubious entrepreneur.

Perhaps you have recently downloaded the FREE KINDLE ebook of Stinky Santa?

Well, ebooks are all very well and super-technological, but nothing in the world beats a 
REAL BOOK for Christmas! 

Did you know Stinky Santa is available as a real paperback book, and it makes an
ideal stinky stocking-filler for Stinky Santa fans!

You can get it in the UK by clicking HERE !

You can get it in the USA by clicking HERE!

Image of Paperback version of Stinky Santa



Wednesday, 28 November 2018

FREE fun clip art! High Resolution Full Color PNG files for you to download

FREE CLIP ART!

Here are three images from my book If You Have a Hat.

They have been isolated on a transparent background so you can use them for all sorts of things.

There is free clip art of a man on a bicycle, a man in an airplane, and a boy on a cloud.

There is a download button beneath each low-res picture for you to download the high-res version to your computer instantly.

They are 300dpi RGB PNG files with a transparent background.

Hope you like them!

kids cartoon illustration of boy riding a bicycle
Click download button below to instantly download this free clip art
of a boy on a bicycle:

instant download button for free clip art

kids cartoon illustration of sleeping boy reclining on a cloud

Click download button below to instantly download this free clip art
of a boy reclining on a cloud:

instant download button for free clip art

kids cartoon illustration of man flying airplane
Click download button below to instantly download this free clip art
of a man flying an airplane:

instant download button for free clip art


Feel free to share this on Pinterest:
free kid's book illustrations of airplane, bicycle and boy on cloud

Tuesday, 27 November 2018

HOW TO DRAW Santa Claus on a Unicorn - FREE Printable Instant download PDF

OTTO FISHBLANKET'S DRAWING ACADEMY

Hello! Otto Fishblanket here!
Welcome to my prestigious Drawing Academy!
Pull up a stool, and sharpen your pencil -
today we are going to be drawing Santa Claus on a Unicorn!

Full instructions are available in the form of a printable PDF
by clicking on the DOWNLOAD button below.

Release the Christmas Unicorn!!

 information poster for Otto fishblanket's drawing academy

Click below for instant download to your computer!

instant download button

Friday, 23 November 2018

If you Have A Hat Collector's Edition Gift Set Available Now on Etsy

A signed copy of my book, If You Have A Hat (32pp full color paperback), is now available on etsy.
It comes with a set of five specially printed postcards.

Click HERE to have a look,
or click on one of the pictures below



picture of picture book and five postcards

picture of signed title page

THE WONKY UNICORN - Jolly Rhymes for Difficult times

JOLLY RHYMES FOR DIFFICULT TIMES
by Otto Fishblanket

The Wonky Unicorn

I'm a wonky unicorn;
I'm different to the rest -

My legs are short and hairy,
And I wear a woolly vest.

But I'm still magic!

* * *

FREE PRINTABLE POSTCARD (A6 size)
from Mr Fishblanket!
Download the high resolution jpeg by clicking the download button below.

Ideal for when you need a postcard or greeting card about a wonky unicorn.

picture of a unicorn with short,hairy legs and woolly vest

Click the button below to instantly download
your useful unicorn poem:

wonky unicorn poem download button


Thursday, 22 November 2018

How To Make Money On The Sock Exchange, by Otto Fishblanket


How to make money on the sock exchange by Otto Fishblanket

This is my guide to making money on the Sock Exchange. 
Warning: Socks may go up or down, or you may lose your socks completely.


  • Do your research. It is no good buying socks willy nilly. You may have read about the sock exchange and thought that sounds like an easy way to make money, but believe me when I say it is no easy route to riches. Just ask Mrs Fishblanket.
  • The first thing you need to do is buy some socks. the good thing about socks is that as well as being an investment you can wear them on your feet.
  • Penny socks - a word of warning. People may tell you (Augustus Cheeselamp in particular may tell you - but more on him later) that this is the way to make your millions. But penny socks are penny socks for a reason. You will be very lucky if socks you bought for a penny ever increased in value.
  • Don’t buy smelly socks. You will struggle to make any money on smelly socks. People generally avoid smelly socks, and if you wear smelly socks, people will avoid you, too.
  • Don’t buy socks with holes in them, unless you are very good at darning. If you are very good at darning (and I mean very good) you may be able to make a modest return on your investment.
  • Do buy stripey socks. Everyone likes stripey socks.
  • Do buy socks when they are cheap and sell them when they are expensive.
  • Don’t listen to Augustus Cheeselamp. He will tell you to buy his socks (without telling you he has a sock factory at the bottom of his garden). The socks he will sell you will be shoddy and smell of cabbages.
  • Do buy my ebook, “How To Make Money On The Sock Exchange Without Leaving The Comfort Of Your Bathtub”, only $249, or buy my ten week ecourse, “How To Make Money On The Sock Exchange Without Leaving The Comfort Of Your Bathtub”, only $999.42.
  • There, I think I have covered everything you need to make money on the sock exchange. You will soon be a millionaire, and all thanks to me.


picture of text reading how to make money on the sock exchange

Wednesday, 21 November 2018

How to draw a Christmas delivery truck, free printable from Otto Fishblanket

OTTO FISHBLANKET'S DRAWING ACADEMY

Hello! Welcome to Otto Fishblanket's Drawing Academy.
Today we are going to see if we can draw a polar bear delivering a Christmas snowman in his Christmas delivery truck.

Free printable instructions.

You can instantly download the FREE 5 page pdf How to Draw a Christmas Truck using the download button below.

Merry Christmas drawing!

illustration of Christmas delivery truck driven by polar bear with snowman in the back


Instantly download the FREE How to Draw PDF
by clicking the button below:

button to instantly download how to draw a Christmas truck pdf

Friday, 16 November 2018

Printable Nursery Art and Printable Coloring Page for Kids - H is for Hipparoo!


From my book SILLY MONSTERS ABC

Here is FREE printable coloring page for you to print out and color in
and also a FREE printable high resolution color picture
Which you can get printed out to hang on your wall
Hooray!

H is for the Hairy Hipparoo,
who likes to wear a hat!

Click on the download button beneath each picture to instantly download to your computer

picture of a hairy hipparoo wearing a hat coloring page

Click below to instantly download the 10" x 8" printable coloring page
(300 dpi jpeg)

graphic of download button


Click below to instantly download the 10" x 8" printable full color nursery wall art
(300 dpi jpeg)

graphic of download button


From my book (available as paperback, and kindle ebook)