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URGENT CHRISTMAS STOCKING-FILLER NEWS FROM OTTO FISHBLANKET!

Hello!
Otto Fishblanket here, famous author and dubious entrepreneur.

Perhaps you have recently downloaded the FREE KINDLE ebook of Stinky Santa?

Well, ebooks are all very well and super-technological, but nothing in the world beats a 
REAL BOOK for Christmas! 

Did you know Stinky Santa is available as a real paperback book, and it makes an
ideal stinky stocking-filler for Stinky Santa fans!

You can get it in the UK by clicking HERE !

You can get it in the USA by clicking HERE!

Image of Paperback version of Stinky Santa



Saturday, 12 March 2016

Ten Incredible Weight Loss Tips Number 1

Hello again!
Otto Fishblanket here!
Don't worry, I haven't been idle. I have been beavering away trying to get my new book, Otto Fishblanket's I Can Make You Slime: Ten Unbelievable Weight Loss Tips for a Slimer You ready for publication. I haven't been helped by my recalcitrant fool of an illustrator, who is a complete nincompoop.
And to make matters worse, to make ends meet, I have been having to work nightshifts at the Dunstable Cabbage Steaming Factory (No doubt you have heard of the famous Dunstable Steamed Cabbage (made famous by the reality TV series Celebrity Cabbage Attack)).
I am exhausted, I smell of cabbage, and I have no teeth.
But enough of me - here, I present to you Tip Number One from my sliming book.
(Sponsored by Fishblanket's Sliming Pills. Be Slime. Be Happy.)

Eat smaller animals
Slimming Tip Number One
Sliming Tip Number One
Eat Smaller Animals
Perhaps, instead of eating a horse for breakfast, try eating a small bug instead. (This obviously doesn't apply to vegetarians, who should eat smaller vegetables.)