Saturday, 8 December 2012

Gerald Hawksley interviews Otto Fishblanket

Here is an interview with Otto Fishblanket, author of Stinky Santa.

Gerald Hawksley (me):  Hello, Otto.

Otto: Hello.

GH: How are you today?

Otto: Very well, thank you for asking.

GH: I see your Stinky Santa book is doing very well. A lot of people are downloading it for free.

Otto: Yes. I must say I am pleased and surprised at the number of people that are downloading my book for free. I have had some nice reviews.

GH: And you had a one star review, too. They said they didn't like it that you were mean about Santa.

Otto: Yes. Although I did not mean to court controversy.

GH: What is your favourite sort of cake?

Otto: My favourite cake is Battenberg.

GH: Oh. I find that a bit sickly. I am not that fond of marzipan. I am partial to a nice Victoria sponge.

Otto: I know. A bit too partial, if you ask me.

GH: What is it like being a famous author? Are you going to give up your part-time cheese-mongering business?

Otto: I think the cheese-mongering can be put on the back-burner for the time being.

GH: Are you going to write any more books?

Otto: I am going to write 50 more books next year.

GH: That is a lot of books.

Otto: I am very talented.

GH: Can I illustrate them? If I give you some Battenberg cakes?

Otto: I'll think about it.

GH: I rode a bicycle once. Have you ever done anything exciting?

Otto: My whole life has been a rollercoaster of thrills and derring-do.

GH: What can you see out of your window?

Otto: I can see a field with cows in it.

GH: Do you like trains?

Otto: I once lived on a train for a whole year.

GH: But now you live in a castle?

Otto: Yes.

GH: With me and Mousington and Lord Treacle.

Otto: Yes. You can see the field with cows in it, too.

GH: Yes.

Otto: Shall we go and have some cake?

GH: Yes. Thank you for the interview. It was very informative. I'm sure your fans will appreciate it.

Otto: I'm sure they will.

GH: Cake.

Otto: Yes.

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