Otto Fishblanket here, famous author and dubious entrepreneur.

Perhaps you have recently downloaded the FREE KINDLE ebook of Stinky Santa?

Well, ebooks are all very well and super-technological, but nothing in the world beats a 
REAL BOOK for Christmas! 

Did you know Stinky Santa is available as a real paperback book, and it makes an
ideal stinky stocking-filler for Stinky Santa fans!

You can get it in the UK by clicking HERE !

You can get it in the USA by clicking HERE!

Image of Paperback version of Stinky Santa

Sunday, 16 December 2012


Well. Another day, another update from Otto Fishblanket's publishing empire!
I have again exceeded my own expectations. I am now having my Rolls Royce goldplated.
Stinky Santa has sailed past the 100 sold mark on amazon.co.uk, and I am sitting on a great big pile of stinky cash! (£29.90, if you really want to know)

To celebrate this milestone in my self-publishing success, I will be offering an early Christmas gift!
Tomorrow, Monday 17th December, for one day only, Stinky Santa will be free!
Grab it while you can! (Unless you have already bought it - in which case, persuade someone else to grab it!)
Save 77p (or 99 cents)! It won't be offered for free again until next Christmas!

No news on my chickens book yet. I am awaiting a visitation from my Muse. That is how it works. I am merely a conduit.

There will be no update from me tomorrow, as I am going to the cinema with Mousington and Lord Treacle to see the new Hobbit film.


Click on the cover to be whisked off to Stinky Santa's home on Amazon.com!

Six 5 star reviews so far on Amazon.com! (Plus two 4 star and one 1 star)

Three 5 star reviews on Amazon.co.uk!

Free |Christmas ebook for kids
Stinky Santa Christmas ebook for kids! 


Saturday, 15 December 2012

Otto Fishblanket's bestselling ebook update

Fishblanket again!

Well, after a little wobble I am going from strength to strength!
Hopefully this will give some inspiration to struggling poets and artists out there. (Well, struggling poets, anyway.)

I am (or rather Stinky Santa is) number 6 in the category thingummyjig > wotsit > and the rest > humourous on Amazon.co.uk.

And I am rapidly approaching a self-publishing milestone. Yes, I have sold 94 books so far this month!!!! Nearly 100!!!!!

That is £24.44 in cold hard cash!!!!

So help me out, I just need to sell another 6 books to reach 100! Then perhaps Amazon will send me a certificate or something.

Don't worry - I shall keep updating you on my bestseller progress right up to Christmas day!


I have decided, after much soul searching and many sleepless nights, that my next book will be about CHICKENS.



PS. And a big thank you to whomsoever bought my book.
PPS. And a big thank you to those who bought stuff from Amazon.com after clicking any of the Amazon links on this blog. (If you are thinking of buying anything whatsoever from Amazon, if you visit Amazon via the links on this blog and then purchase something within 24 hours, Gerald Hawksley gets a small percentage of the final price because he is an Amazon affiliate! At no cost to you! No obligation, of course.)

Perhaps you would like to treat yourself or a loved one to this, perhaps:
 6.15 CT Fancy Yellow and Pink Diamond Diamond Ring (FYCU 4.02ct, RD 0.67ct, Pink 0.57ct, FYRD 0.89ct)
Or maybe this. Mind you there is only one left in stock at the moment, so you had better hurry: Cyclone 4006 - Ultra High Pressure Hard Surface Cleaner, 40,000 psi water with Full Recovery

Friday, 14 December 2012

Inspirational Christmas ebook self-publishing bestseller update

Hello, Fishblanket here, with latest update!

Well,  Stinky Santa is still Number 7 in humourous children's literature bestseller list on Amazon.co.uk!

Have now sold 74 copies this month!!!

That means £19.24 in my pocket!!!

Am wondering whether to up my price from 77 pence to 99 pence. But perhaps that is being too greedy.

But looks like I am going to beat my target!!! I may upgrade my target to £2 a day!

Perhaps a bit ambitious. Maybe £1.50 a day. That would mean £37.50 by December 25th!!
It gives me goosebumps even thinking about it!!!

That would mean I could buy Mrs Fishblanket a Christmas present!!

Inspirational, indeed!

Here is  a picture from Stinky Santa!


Illustration of Santa Claus with his pets
Hello from Stinky Santa!

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Aaargh! Fishblanket wails and gnashes teeth!

Well. Fishblanket here with latest bestsellerdom update, as promised.
I have dropped out of the top 100 children's ebooks on amazon.co.uk. That was short lived. Grrrr!

But I am number 7 in Kindle Store > blah > blah > etc> humourous.

Have now sold 66 copies, though. which equals £17.16. Hoorah, anyway!

That means so far I am meeting my target of £1 per day sales!!!



PS. More updates to come (hopefully).

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

My inspiring self-publishing success story by Otto Fishblnaket

What a day!
Stinky Santa is now Number 85 out of all children's ebooks on Amazon.co.uk!

What will tomorrow bring?

For inspiration, I shall let you into some of the mindboggling numbers involved. It certainly beats working for a living!

As of this moment, since publication on December 1st, Stinky Santa has sold 46 copies on Amazon.co.uk!

That means, as my royalty on each book sold is 26 pence, so far this month I have cleared £11.96!

My target for December 25th is to make £25, or £1 a day. So spread the word, and help me out, won't you?

What happens after December 25th, I don't know. Probably not much demand for a Christmas book. I shall have to write another book. Perhaps a Valentine's Day title?

I will update you on my progress.

If you are wondering what has happened to Gerald Hawksley, he is eating biscuits and sulking. Jealous of my success, I suppose.


Saturday, 8 December 2012

Gerald Hawksley interviews Otto Fishblanket

Here is an interview with Otto Fishblanket, author of Stinky Santa.

Gerald Hawksley (me):  Hello, Otto.

Otto: Hello.

GH: How are you today?

Otto: Very well, thank you for asking.

GH: I see your Stinky Santa book is doing very well. A lot of people are downloading it for free.

Otto: Yes. I must say I am pleased and surprised at the number of people that are downloading my book for free. I have had some nice reviews.

GH: And you had a one star review, too. They said they didn't like it that you were mean about Santa.

Otto: Yes. Although I did not mean to court controversy.

GH: What is your favourite sort of cake?

Otto: My favourite cake is Battenberg.

GH: Oh. I find that a bit sickly. I am not that fond of marzipan. I am partial to a nice Victoria sponge.

Otto: I know. A bit too partial, if you ask me.

GH: What is it like being a famous author? Are you going to give up your part-time cheese-mongering business?

Otto: I think the cheese-mongering can be put on the back-burner for the time being.

GH: Are you going to write any more books?

Otto: I am going to write 50 more books next year.

GH: That is a lot of books.

Otto: I am very talented.

GH: Can I illustrate them? If I give you some Battenberg cakes?

Otto: I'll think about it.

GH: I rode a bicycle once. Have you ever done anything exciting?

Otto: My whole life has been a rollercoaster of thrills and derring-do.

GH: What can you see out of your window?

Otto: I can see a field with cows in it.

GH: Do you like trains?

Otto: I once lived on a train for a whole year.

GH: But now you live in a castle?

Otto: Yes.

GH: With me and Mousington and Lord Treacle.

Otto: Yes. You can see the field with cows in it, too.

GH: Yes.

Otto: Shall we go and have some cake?

GH: Yes. Thank you for the interview. It was very informative. I'm sure your fans will appreciate it.

Otto: I'm sure they will.

GH: Cake.

Otto: Yes.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Here is stinky Santa's cat

Here is stinky Santa's cat, Tiddles

Illustration of stinky Santa's stinky cat, Tiddles
Stinky Santa's cat, Tiddles
The worst thing about Tiddles, I think,
is when Tiddles widdles in the sink.

Here is stinky Santa's dog

Here is a picture of stinky Santa's dog.
A picture of Santa's dog from Stinky Santa's Christmas ebook
Stinky Santa's stinky dog

He has been out in the rain, so he is extra stinky.