Saturday, 12 March 2016

Ten Incredible Weight Loss Tips Number 1

Hello again!
Otto Fishblanket here!
Don't worry, I haven't been idle. I have been beavering away trying to get my new book, Otto Fishblanket's I Can Make You Slime: Ten Unbelievable Weight Loss Tips for a Slimer You ready for publication. I haven't been helped by my recalcitrant fool of an illustrator, who is a complete nincompoop.
And to make matters worse, to make ends meet, I have been having to work nightshifts at the Dunstable Cabbage Steaming Factory (No doubt you have heard of the famous Dunstable Steamed Cabbage (made famous by the reality TV series Celebrity Cabbage Attack)).
I am exhausted, I smell of cabbage, and I have no teeth.
But enough of me - here, I present to you Tip Number One from my sliming book.
(Sponsored by Fishblanket's Sliming Pills. Be Slime. Be Happy.)

Eat smaller animals
Slimming Tip Number One
Sliming Tip Number One
Eat Smaller Animals
Perhaps, instead of eating a horse for breakfast, try eating a small bug instead. (This obviously doesn't apply to vegetarians, who should eat smaller vegetables.)


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