Monday, 28 January 2013

Ta-dah! Otto Fishblanket is Number One! No, it's not.

Otto here again!

Piddles the Penguin has rocketed to the Number One spot in  Kindle Store , Books , Fiction , Children's Fiction , Literature , Humourous (Free books, that is) on Amazon.co.uk.

Over twenty people have downloaded my book!

Oh, rats, it's gone down to Number Two, now.

This means I have failed as an International Bestselling Author, and must lay down my pen.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE BOOK WHILE YOU CAN ON AMAZON.COM
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE BOOK WHILE YOU CAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK
And here is a picture from said sad failure of a book:
Penguin peeing in a flowerpot

Friday, 25 January 2013

PIDDLES THE PENGUIN!

What ho! Otto here!
Here is my new bestselling work of children's literature!

It is about a penguin called Piddles who widdles everywhere.

"Brilliant!" I hear you say, wondering why no-one has penned such a tome before. That is why I am a Bestselling Author and International Poet and you are not. (Statistically speaking it is very unlikely another Bestselling Author and International Poet is reading this. But if you are actually a Bestselling Author and International Poet, I apologize.)

It will be free, of course, for a short period, purely out of the goodness of my heart, on Monday and Tuesday. Probably this coming Monday and Tuesday, the 28th and 29th of January. But as it is only 99 cents, or 77 pence, why not buy it anyway? You can always return it if you don't like it!

Click on this rather shakily drawn cover image to view the thing on Amazon.com, or click on the links underneath!
Piddles the Penguin ebook for kids


CLICK HERE TO VIEW ON AMAZON.COM
CLICK HERE TO VIEW ON AMAZON.CO.UK

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Penguins!

Otto here!

I have decided my next bestselling book will be about penguins. Or, rather, one penguin in particular.

I am putting the chickens to one side for the moment.

As you were.

Au revoir,
Otto






Thursday, 3 January 2013

Chickens or Penguins?

Happy New Year!
Otto Fishblanket here!

Gerald Hawksley is living on his nerves at the moment, and requests to be left in peace until he has finished the last of his Christmas chocolates.

Meanwhile, I am taking to being a bestselling famous author like nobody's business.
Stinky Santa got up to number seven hundred and something out of all Kindle books on Amazon.co.uk!

How do I follow up such rip-roaring success, you might ask?
Well, I was thinking of writing a best-selling book about chickens, as I think I mentioned previously.
But then I got to thinking about penguins as well.

You can see my dilemma.

Write about both, you might say!

This has crossed my mind. But which would be the most best-selleringest? Which do I turn my recently discovered best-selling author's brain to first?

You can see this is not a job to be envied. This decision will take much staring out of the window at the cows in the field.

You will, of course, be the first to be informed when I have made my choice.

Au revoir,
Otto