The Lost Art of the Elf Bottle
Of course, in the olden days, everyone used to communicate by elf bottle. You spoke into the elf's magic bottle, which he would then deliver to whomever you chose for sixpence. The words sometimes got muddled up en route, but that was part of the charm.
Nowadays, when everything is done by steam engines and electric string it is easy to forget what life was like in our grandparents' day.